February 24, 2008

Ugly bride?

Most of you do not like lies and like genuine compliments rather than polite ones. Considering that would you tell an ugly bride that she was looking pretty on her wedding day when she clearly was not?

44 comments:

Chakoli said...

No dear it would be too rude I guess....
After all... its her wedding....but otehr way roubd...if we tell her...may be she can look better.....

Ahhhhh
tough decsiion indeed:-))

Solitaire said...

But I thought you reallly hate liars and hypocrites!!!

c e e d y said...

nope - i profess discretion....why get into any opinion - when it does not really matter to me....she is ugly but she is getting married...so the person to whom she is marrying - for him she is the most beautiful woman on earth...right

carolinagal said...

Depends on how close I am to the bride. If its someone I am really close to, I would tell them instantly..but in that case, I would have told them days before the wedding day ;).
If its someone I barely know, I would not tell her the truth. That should be the job of someone close to her...

Mez said...

Can't do w/o diplomacy either.Lol..thtz human tendency. Dontya think.Sometimes we gotta lie to keep someone'z heart And i guess therz notin rong in doin that.

Solitaire said...

@ Chakoli, what is rude? To tell her she looks pretty?

The question is "would you give her a fake compliment"?

@ Ceedy, looks like you misunderstood my question too. I am not asking you if you would tell her she looked ugly. All I am asking is would you tell her that she looked pretty?

@ Carolinagal, you too?!!!!

@ Mez, finally someone who read the question right! CLAP CLAP!

Satish Bolla said...

Here comes the twister. I was wondering why you asked such a simple question in the previous post. I failed to notice the storm behind it.
Anyways, in a case like this, I will definitely tell her dat she's looking pretty(even if people brand me a LIAR for a lifetime). Did you notice that a person looks more beautiful(than his/her usual self) when he/she is happy? I follow the same rules.

Keshi said...

Uglyness(/beauty) is in the eye of the beholder. :)

I cant tell if the bride is ugly/pretty w.o. seeing her with my own eyes. Ok now if according to my perception, she's unpretty (lookswise), I dun hv to tell her abt it, do I? :) I can just choose to keeo quiet. i.o.w. Im not a rude person hehe.

Keshi.

Iceman said...

Silence is gold... isn't it?

The Keeper of the Keys said...

if there was something seriously wrong with her appearance like running make-up...or if she's my best friend....otherwise, a bride has to be told she's pretty

vEENs said...

I guess I won't comment at all.
On 2nd thoughts!

If my one lie would make her feel like a princess on the most important day of her life..I would do it over and over again!

For everr rule on planet earth there is an exception at least!

Smita said...

Honest to a fault - I think I will just not say anything, And if asked, will just hug and smile :)

c e e d y said...

thats what i meant by dicretion - i would not say anything....

Cosmic Joy said...

..when she clearly was not"

First of all beauty is very relative. For example, most of the females would not be pretty compared to a Miss World. So if the Miss world were to compliment someone on their looks, would that be considered genuine?

Secondly, the bride in question would be prettier than normal on her wedding day assuming she is all decked up for a wedding. So complimenting her for that would not be considered a lie or being polite.

Solitaire said...

@ Satish, well said! The happiness brings a glow on the face that some people do not associate with beauty.

@ Keshi, :)

@ Iceman, true..

@ keeper, I like that. I will remember that. And wonder on my wedding if I indeed am looking pretty or not.

Solitaire said...

@ Veens, make sure you do it with a genuine expression then..

@ Smita, hmmm..diplomatic.

@ Ceedy, hmmmm.

@ Cosmic, Even if Miss World says that, it could be genuine cos she is not the only beauty in the whole world. Besides, not all Miss Worlds are pretty!! Sometimes, I think I look prettier than Sushmita Sen. :)
Glad you said that you are assuming that she was decked up. That's the twist.

Alok said...

Her appearance won't matter to me.

I mean it would be her marriage. I think that her happiness would be of much more importance to me than her appearance. I would tell her she looks good if she looks contented.

On the other hand, if she isn't happy on her own wedding day, I wouldn't confess it to her. It doesn't matter that if it makes her look ugly. Whatever the reason, she is still accepting the relation. It's her choice.

carolinagal said...

Maybe I did not understand your question properly. I would DEFINITELY NOT give them a fake compliment.
What I meant was, I would just NOT tell them the truth and hurt their feelings. Does that make sense?

aneri_masi said...

I would not say anything until I am asked. And if/when asked, I would say you look wonderfully happy (assuming that she is happy!)

On second thoughts, I would only look at the bride's happy face and smile, and my true opinion will be based on that. I guess it is quite impossible for a genuinely happy, smiling face to look ugly!

Pavi!!!! said...

No...I definetly wouldn't tell anybody they look ugly, forget a bride on her wedding day!...n thats not being hypocritical or pay polite compliments according to me..is just being nice and "not mean".
Really why should one go n tell sum1 that they look ugly???

Pavi!!!! said...

n just read the other comments... No, I wouldn't tell her "she looks pretty" unless she asks me..in which case..yes, I would lie to her that she looks nice.

Neeku said...

being a bride is itself so beautiful... its your the day... so far I haven't met a single ugly bride...the happiness kinda shows up on the face...

Unless you are forced into ...and it is obvious on her face... somehow... they all look pretty... :)

i mean.... its not only looking pretty for the yourself... its looking pretty for someone else too ;)

Chakoli said...

I do......

Thats why said its tough decisions....going with the insticnct... 80% yes I would do...would be my take:-))

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

HI Solitaire,
All brides are pretty on their wedding day. There's always a certain glow of happiness in their faces that radiates and is picked up by those who see her. To say to a bride how ugly she is, is not honesty but the height of cruelty. A person must know when to speak the truth and when to maintain a golden silence. Thanks for the post. God bless.

Mez said...

:)

divya said...

yes, i would tell her so :)

desperado said...

Its her day...no
and as for lies or genuine compliments..how do you test them..its all opinion or perception for me

and found this blog the best among the ones you write on

Solitaire said...

@ Alok, choice? Don't you think you are deviating from the topic a little bit?

@ Carolinagal, yup! That is the kind of response I was looking for.

@ Aneri, nothing is impossible. Trust me.

@ Pavi, read the question properly. I am not asking you if you would tell them they look ugly. I am asking you if you would tell them that they look pretty when you actually think they look ugly.

Solitaire said...

@ Neeku, I knew of a bride who wanted to look pretty only for the nice pictures and not for anyone else. :)
So she got make up done which looks flattering in pictures but hideous in reality!

@ Mel, my question is that will you tell her she looks pretty? I am not asking you if you would tell her she looks ugly!

@ Mez, so many people still do not get it. Is it me or them?

Solitaire said...

@ Divya, good girl.

@ Genuine, yes you are right. In your subjective opinion would you give someone a fake compliment.

@ ALL, most of you are reading the question WRONG.

Ghost Particle said...

if somehow I am made to marry her or made the decision to marry her I will definitely tell her. if she was someone else bride, I would just consider it love, no point in judging people.

Solitaire said...

@ Ghost, you too got it wrong! I am appalled!

Pavi!!!! said...

Answered ur Q in my 2nd comment Sneha...anywez reposting it...

No, I wouldn't tell her "she looks pretty" unless she asks me..n if she does ask me.. I would lie to her that she looks nice.

KP! said...

My take is different...

If A lie can help someone and doesnt hurt anyone...nothing is wrong with it.....:)

hope said...

Yes! i'll do so..

Amit said...

When I meet I congratulate her... (that's important..not the beauty)
-*-*-*
When I am asked (by her) how she look.. (I will remember that the person is clearly understands that she is ugly and she's asking is it better for today)

I will judge and compliment based on required dressing on that particular day...

Noushy Syah said...

Hahhaha..this is so cool,

I rather choose not to say anything, instead just congratz her for the wedding and give her well wishes.

We really don't have to say anything about her appearance if obviously she's not pretty!!

I love this blog of yours..short and compact but meaningful!

Alok said...

Hehe! oops I described what I would think of when I would be in such a situation.

Well, but I did answer your question. I would tell her if she looks pretty (In my view, that is her happiness), and won't say anything if she looked ugly.

Ghost Particle said...

uh!
whats the answer then!!!

Fighter Jet said...

I wont comment on her...but if she is someone whom i wont like other to laugh at,will tel her to change and do some other getup..as that willmake her look better :)

Solitaire said...

@ Pavi, got it!

@ KP, so basically if a polite compliment does not hurt anyone, give it.

@ Hope, :)

@ Amit, so if the required dressing is completely off and not to your liking, would you tell her that honestly?

@ Noushy, thank you!! Hope to see you more.

Solitaire said...

@ Alok, so silence IS golden.

@ Ghost Particle, whether you will keep quiet, tell her she is pretty, or tell her she is ugly?

@ Fighter jet, good one! And if you don't care about her, let people laugh at her?

Vandita said...

uhmm i'd follow if u can't say something good don't say anything, i'd much rather keep mum!

Ashu said...

no wedding day par uska dil nahi todna chahiye, may be later we can.