I have been thinking about this and it seems logically inconsistent to me! Its almost impossible to create anything genuinely funny out of this because no paradox, irony or redundancy can be sparked here. The first part of the statement makes the second part redundant, because they will invariably mean the same thing. What can "never" be done, will by default not be done "before, during or after" ANYTHING in the whole world!
Except under following scenarios - Scenario 1 - Talking about doing something before something else that can't be done at all! For eg. "I would never beat my kids, before during or after marriage." Before and During scenarios are irrelevant here!
Scenario 2. Someone else sparks off a new chain of thoughts. "I will never "control my burps" before during or after Sex!"
I would never fart before during or after childbirth. Heh heh heheh--sorry can't stop laughing at my own answer :D In a crazy mood today. Cheers Preeti (just a mother of two)
Ummmm.... I would never calorie-count before, during or after my frequent snack-attacks.
Yeah solitaire yeah... food again. I'm fed up with the lettuce nibbling borderline-anorexic babes I walk around with. They make me feel like Hulk Hogan when I eat :( :D Who cares :D
weird this ... the idea that struck me relates to one of your recent posts .... and then when i somehow managed to make my brain work a little more ... i could form a few responses that relate to few of your recent posts ... so here you go ... :)
I would never bet with my wife before, during, or after any difference of opinions. :)
I would never think before, during, or after writing the code. (this is a Software Engineer speaking :))
I would never pull before, during, or after pray. :)
Before and After here means preparation and conclusion Sol. :)
I believe any act has 3 main stages...Preparation, Execution and Conclusion ;-) So anytime Im not in any of those stages of Sex, Im allowed to Burp right? LOL!
Define "torture"! What may not be torture for you may be torture for someone else...for example, you may think you sing like Kishore Kumar and others think its more like Himesh!!
Never cry after a breakup?? OMG! I would cry buckets!
@ sol --- hahahah... LOL... the sadist in me is getting amused at your plight. but if you read the book, I am sure you'll enjoy it!
@Alok --- thanks! you are my best buddy dude!! ;)
@Keshi --- don't tell me you've never seen it happening or tried it yourself!?!:) May be with me around...! (now the reply may be an even longer ewww! ;))
104 comments:
ummm...
i would never change before, during or after my brain implodes
:|
I would never BURP before, during or after SEX.
Keshi.
@ keshi: lmfao!!!
I would never sleep before, during, or after sleeping.
i feel unfunny today.
@Kesh ROTFL....hahahahaa
@ G-man,
Change what? Clothes?
@ Keshi,
Heheh!! Then when would you?
@ Ghost,
You are sleeping during sleeping!
LIAR!
*Crimson Feet Analysis Mode On*
I have been thinking about this and it seems logically inconsistent to me!
Its almost impossible to create anything genuinely funny out of this because no paradox, irony or redundancy can be sparked here. The first part of the statement makes the second part redundant, because they will invariably mean the same thing. What can "never" be done, will by default not be done "before, during or after" ANYTHING in the whole world!
Except under following scenarios -
Scenario 1 - Talking about doing something before something else that can't be done at all!
For eg. "I would never beat my kids, before during or after marriage."
Before and During scenarios are irrelevant here!
Scenario 2. Someone else sparks off a new chain of thoughts.
"I will never "control my burps" before during or after Sex!"
*Crimson Feet Analysis Mode Off*
That leads me to one more possible answer -
42
i would never hit my boss before during or after my resignation
after because... what if due to recession I have to join him back;-))
@ Crimson,
Please go get drunk and then come back!!
ENOUGH OF 42!!!!!!!!!!
Oh Lord, please grant me the strength to not hit Crimson before, during, or after this response.
@ Chakoli,
That is very wise!!
lol... ok! ...i think you have put across the point fairly clearly!
I would never mention 42 before, during or after my conversation with sol! ;)
I would never fart before during or after childbirth.
Heh heh heheh--sorry can't stop laughing at my own answer :D In a crazy mood today.
Cheers
Preeti (just a mother of two)
:-)))
I would never bang my head on anything bangable (!!) before, during or after my work...!!!
I Luv My Work...!! Kill Me..
Rofl @ Keshi's comment !!!
I may add fart too...??
I would never cramp before, during, or after sex.
:D
hehe...
Cheers!!!
I would never SayNo before, during, or after Kiss.
:D :D
Cheers!!!
in the current scenario, my answer will be:
I would never dance before, during, or after(particularly) drinking
owing to an incident in the mrng,
I would never yawn before, during, or after a meeting.
i did this in front of top executives today. but who cares...
in a general scenario,
I would never speak the truth before, during, or after a date
change the way i am now, of course :)
i think i screwed big time so left the link again there...
check it out!!! :D :D
i think u gonna love it :D :D
Ummmm.... I would never calorie-count before, during or after my frequent snack-attacks.
Yeah solitaire yeah... food again. I'm fed up with the lettuce nibbling borderline-anorexic babes I walk around with. They make me feel like Hulk Hogan when I eat :(
:D Who cares :D
I would never NOT LIE before during or after I'm caught :D
I would never masturbate before, during, or after sex.
i would never sleep before during or after meeting.
Something to beat Keshi at her own game!
I would never FART before, during or after SEX.
@Keshi
Have to admit, a very original thot, that one of yours!
I would never steal before during or after death.
I would never "pick my nose" before, during or after or ever....
@keshi (hope peace has ensued)
I had to laugh...that means you will go empty stomach!
@crimson feet
this scenario does fall into a category...dunno if its funny tho!
I would never PANIC before, during or after CHILDBIRTH
I would never FART before, during or after SEX
Oooppss...i just realized some beat me to this...
well, here is another version..
I would never HAVE SEX before, during or after a FART!! LOL!!
weird this ... the idea that struck me relates to one of your recent posts .... and then when i somehow managed to make my brain work a little more ... i could form a few responses that relate to few of your recent posts ... so here you go ... :)
I would never bet with my wife before, during, or after any difference of opinions. :)
I would never think before, during, or after writing the code. (this is a Software Engineer speaking :))
I would never pull before, during, or after pray. :)
I wud never talk to anybody before, during or after blogging!! :D dunno wht tht meant though! lol
I would never try to dance before, during, or after i pee
I would never fancy a hottie before , during or after Nutella......it would be probably only with Nutella
pardon me...i know that was nasty hehehe...wast to do cudnt think of anything else....cant wait to go home....
@Sol
haha....may ne yur next post shud be I would ______ before, during and after _____
to know the other side of it eh?
@satish
yawn....mate meeting ke baad to yawn kar sakta hai yaar kisne mana kiya hai?
btw date wala accha tha..
@keshi
spot on n a good one i'd say.
@ Princess Mia,
Ufffffffffo!! Why is everyone writing about all these high calorie goodies that I dig?
:(
@ Ashish,
I personally have seen many people dance before they went to pee just because they absolutely HAD TO GO and the restroom was not available!
@ Ria,
EH?! I don't either!
@ Hiren,
That's quite witty.
Mind you..with the last one...if you change the order of words...you will have to PRAY before, during, and after PULL!
@ Carolinagal,
One girl in a Sidney Sheldon book that I read did FART after she had sex!
@ Vasanth,
That's because YOU are NOT going through it!!
@ Ceedy,
You would never pick your nose EVER?
@ Aneesh,
good one!! Whose death, though?
@ Anonymous,
Farting and burping is a common response here...I wonder if it does happen a lot!
@ Ashu,
WOW! That's amazing!
@ Preeti,
YEAH!! Sometimes, you just have to!
@ Macadamia,
:(
I count calories all the time but just do not stop eating!! Sigh!
@ Ankur,
Thank youuuuuu!
@ G-man,
AAAHA!
@ Ishqia,
Babe, you don't have the capacity to pull, though!!
Haarrrr haaaarrr!! Khi khi!!
@ Crimson,
Quick learner!!
@ Preeti,
Unique. Everyone's talking about farting and burping before, during, and after sex..you childbirth!! Never occurred to me!
@ Cinderella,
Go ahead! A lot of people have sworn that they won't fart. I wonder how this idea occurred in the first place!
@ Ankur,
How can you be soooo sure?
@ Ankur,
Now the kiss part I can totally understand..but what if the babe has garlic breath?
@ Satish,
HAHAHAHAH! Item!
Bwahahhhah at Crimson Feet's awesome analysis again!
But here is an exception:
I would never Say before, during or after when talking about parallel universes.
:| :D
I would never eat high calorie meal before, during, or after workout.
I would never torture anyone before, during, or after my life.
I would never cry before, during, or after breakup
should read as or ever (in public)....
yah...in dreams u can do that.
hehe tnxx guys!
Sol..
**Then when would you?
Before and After here means preparation and conclusion Sol. :)
I believe any act has 3 main stages...Preparation, Execution and Conclusion ;-) So anytime Im not in any of those stages of Sex, Im allowed to Burp right? LOL!
Keshi.
**"I will never "control my burps" before during or after Sex!"
lol Crimson! ewww!
Keshi.
haha Cindy! yukkkkkkkk LOL!
Keshi.
**I would never HAVE SEX before, during or after a FART!!
ROFL CG!
Keshi.
**I would never fart before during or after childbirth
lol PS but can it be controlled?
Keshi.
Ceedy I dun hold grudges :) I throw hissy fits and then Im all ok and friends again hehe. HUGS!
**I had to laugh...that means you will go empty stomach!
LOL yes..I dun mind. Cos I'll be 'fed' anyways right? LMAO!
Keshi.
**I would never sleep before, during, or after sleeping
Ghosty u had to come up with a CLEVER one ha! Love it. So u dun really sleep? Insomniacs we r in arms.
Keshi.
I would never check the calories before, during or after eating anything!
@ Ishqia,
Oh you will never pull the blanket before, during, or after sex? What if its really really cold?
@ Pavi,
You don't need to!
@ Ghost,
Do you even sleep to see dreams?
@ KP,
Define "torture"!
What may not be torture for you may be torture for someone else...for example, you may think you sing like Kishore Kumar and others think its more like Himesh!!
Never cry after a breakup?? OMG! I would cry buckets!
@ Alok,
UFFFFFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOO!!
this 42 thing is killing me!
God give me the strength to not think about 42 before, during, and after sleeping!!
@ sol --- hahahah... LOL... the sadist in me is getting amused at your plight. but if you read the book, I am sure you'll enjoy it!
@Alok --- thanks! you are my best buddy dude!! ;)
@Keshi --- don't tell me you've never seen it happening or tried it yourself!?!:) May be with me around...! (now the reply may be an even longer ewww! ;))
@ Crimson,
The Wikipedia link itself made me go crazy..dunno if I can handle an entire book!!
Crimson u make my cheeks go crimson! :):)
Keshi.
U r welcome!!! :D
and howcome i knw u like choco shake... well like is not even d word... i wud use Luv!!! :D :D
hehe
CheerS!!!
mujhe kaise pata... everything is medically possible!!! :P :P
so no more cramps!!! ;)
hehe
Cheers!!!!
**but what if the babe has garlic breath?
wont mind ;)
do u love garlic so much kya :P :P
hehe.. btw.. i love garlic paste (lehsun chatni ) :D
Cheers!!!
@ Ishqia,
Peeping Tom ke liye?
@ Ankur,
Have you gotten a surgery done so that you dont get cramps?
:o
@Sol
interesting question :P :P
but the answer is NO!!! :P
haahha
arre bhai goli aati hai cramps na aane ki ;) :D
aisa suna hai maine
*looks innocently*
Cheers!!!
i said i would never pull the curtains away.. so that tom will not peep..
keshi... now that was a 'cheeky' comment!! :)
haha Crimson ur too clever!
Keshi.
ROFL at Keshi's answer..
My take:
I would never ROFL(Literally) before,during, or after taking a shower!
@sol
Ofcourse, after my death. Why can't I steal after someone else's death? and how can I steal after my death?
AmitL why not? :) Cos I can roll on the floor and laugh in the shower too. haha!
Keshi.
@ Aneesh,
This might sound cheesy but you can chhinofy someone's raat aur din ka sukun after your death.
:p
@ AmitL,
Laughing gas chhod denge shower mein.
Let;s see how you DONT roll!
@ Ankur,
REALLLLLLLLLLLLLY?
@ Ishqia,
Ok now I am confused.
Do you want to pull the blanket or the curtain?
And if the curtain, how do you want to pull it?
Me: *feels super dumb now*
Sigh!!!
:(((
I would never ignore "short n sweet" before, during n after my blogging sessions :)
ok that wasnt original.. :)
gotta share i joke i jusr stumbled upon..
what did bill gates's wife tell him after their first making out session??
"Now i know why you named your company Microsoft"
he he he ;)
hehe..
i just said . i would never pull...
i could be meaning anything..
not necessary negative..
i could be talking about blanket or the curtains..
now the question of pulling curtains..
i m going to soon invent some curtains which i can pull..
now be cheesy sol..
eat a bit of cheese..
ROFL...laughing gas in the shower...tks for the laff of the day!!!:)
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