July 3, 2008

Shrink

You have been mandated into counseling/therapy.

Who mandated you and what disorder do you have?

138 comments:

Iceman said...

Aye...
main pagal wagal nahi hoon...

LOL.. reminds me of that Mintrox commercial....

Life eeej a hard...

Solitaire said...

Har pagal yehi kehta hai!
Not seen the commercial.

Keshi said...

Who - Myself

Disorder - that's what I'm here to find out!


So cmon u tell me Sol :) what is my problem? LOL!


Keshi.

Solitaire said...

@ Keshi,

I might be sued for diagnosing people online. You might want to come see me personally!

So go ahead...tell me...what do you think you might have!

Rakesh said...

sab disorder hai....koi bhi order m nahi hai..:D

Solitaire said...

@ Rakesh,

Order order!

Keshi said...

but u know I wont sue ya? ok then let me self-diagnose or atleast give u some clues (symptoms).
:)


**Who mandated you and what disorder do you have?

Myself and here is why:


I think Im one big Disorder cos often everything I say/do is being rated as CRAZY or STRANGE. And I classify myself a MISFIT in this predictable society. Even the way I live seems to be a LONER's life and I dun usually do what NORMAL ppl do in their lives - u know, the ROUTINE life and CHASING things etc. Often Im a SPECTATOR watching everyone else's lives unravelling in front of my eyes...everything passes me by but I just sit and watch. My life sits still. And I don't SIFT my thoughts, I just SAY em as they were born...and for that reason, alot of ppl think I'm too RAW, too this and too that. So I think I'm a lil INSANE, but isnt true SANITY a lil INSANE? And isnt true INSANITY being too SANE?


Sol what's wrong with me? U tell me. ;-)



Keshi.

Keshi said...

If Im to name that Disorder, I'd say Keshicocolkaemia?


Keshi.

Solitaire said...

@ Keshi,

Arey congratulations! You are normal! :)

d SINNER!!! said...

I wud tell u...

I had this disorder...

I had this dis...

I had this...

I had...

ummm...

mmm...

mm...

what was it Sol???

Solitaire said...

@ D sinner,

Amnesia with speech deficits!

Nitin said...

Agar Disorder mere ko batana hein tu shrink kya free ki khayega....

Solitaire said...

@ Nitin,

Toh jao...shrink ko pucch ke batao!

Ghost Particle said...

who: my alternate personality

why: for stealing his personality

disorder: mpd

treatment: food and sleep.


uh wait...u suppose to give treatment right?

Solitaire said...

@ Ghost,

I have seen two kinds of living beings interested in food and sleep.

1) babies
2) dogs

But you are a ghost! How can a ghost have MPD and be interested in food and sleep?

Nitin said...

Kyon aapki degree farzi hein .. dusare ke pass kyon jaoon...

(yahan atleast acchi shakal tu dekhne milege :) ...)

Solitaire said...

@ Nitin,

Face to face meeting karni padegi. Tab tak online bata toh do ke problem kya kya hai....

I don't read minds!

Solitaire said...

@ Ghost,

Where did your drug and booze comment go?

Anyway, so you are an alcoholic MPD ghost!

Sorry dude. This is way beyond my educational qualifications.

Chakoli said...

who: ofcourse me...
praaablem..: My filmy dialogues....

I can never live without them... to each statement I end up with some filmy dialogue.... and then all say...

BAKWAAS

or

"total natunkii" ho tum :-))



People say that I a

Chakoli said...

ANother disorder

MAD

haan haan mein pagal hoon mein pagal hoon...
mein pagal hoon;-0)

Keshi said...

o man and that was all abt being NORMAL? wow tnxx Sol!

In that case am I surrounded by alot of ABNORMAL ppl? LOL!

Keshi.

Aa̲yushi said...

Dementia,Insane-ia
Pagal-ia


Damn.
Mandate it,Sneha :D
I'm totally sick of it :D

Keshi said...

But I think I do suffer from the following Mental disorders:


-Depression
-OCD
-MPD
-Hysteria


will tell more later on...


Keshi.

Rakesh said...

judge saheb saare disorder ko kaise sambhaliye ga....D

joiedevivre said...

psychology student huh...
dikh raha hai sol!!
haha
i hav a disorder check out on my blog..
"day of CONFUSION"

Sriram said...

Fed-up public push a misanthropist with murderous intentions into the counselling centre :p

vishesh said...

waat?

Am In Trance said...

Problem: Lately Thinking Too Much About A Girl... Whose Name Starts With "S"..
Any Cure Doc ??

d SINNER!!! said...

tch tch...

i could have escaped clean by saying soemthing cheesy like Lovaeria...

ever heard of it doc???

humbl devil said...

ocd, depression, mpd, hysteria...
and one more..."tired-of-blogging" syndrome..

referred by who knows???

Vrij said...

I volunteered to cure the shrink!

Aneesh said...

Myself mandated me to diagnose the disorder " I am thinking a lot about my purpose in this world and about the creator of this world and blah blah blah -- lot of unanswered questions, trying to find an answer"

Ankur said...

Mandate: Typosssssss
Who: Sneha!!! :D

:D

rayshma said...

who: me or vin.
why: i believe i was a catin my previous life. and that this is the last of my nine lives.
p.s.: don't get scared and refuse to meet me, okay!?

Stupidosaur said...

Hey sol,

As far as I am aware, you too are 'into counseling/therapy' right?

So who mandated you?

Was it your career 'counselor'?
And if you realise this career sucks you will have to go to your career 'therapist' isn't it?

brocasarea said...

hmm....not till now!..but want to visit a phsycologist!..really want to see how they work:)

Hiren said...

seems that man-date thing hasn't got off your mind still :p

** You have been mandated into counseling/therapy
Okay, fine !!! If you insist, I can try my hand in counseling ... and conducting therapies ... (into counseling can mean to act as a counsel as well .. right ?? ) So, all you people who are looking out for a good shrink ... get in touch with me :)

** Who mandated you
YOU :-)

**what disorder do you have?
hmm, i guess it will have to be - coming up with weird comments on Short and Sweet :)

Solitaire said...

@ Hiren,

Cheeky! You know that's not what I meant!

Your comments are not THAT weird. I think your disorder is not yet a serious one!

Solitaire said...

@ Broca,

And on what pretext will you meet them? You have to have a problem to see them. Or are you going to make one up?

Solitaire said...

@ Stupid,

Haha! You too are another cheeky one.

No one mandated me into counseling. So if this career turns out to be pathetic, I have no one to blame!

Solitaire said...

@ Rayshma,

Uuuuuh! You are hallucinating!

I won't be scared when I see you. Only try and cure you. :)

Solitaire said...

@ Ankur,

What does that mean?

Mandate: Typos (?????????????????????)

Now I know for sure you are beyond cure. God save you!

Solitaire said...

@ Aneesh,

If that is a serious response then there is a word for that.

Its called "existential depression". Ever heard of it?

Solitaire said...

@ Vrij,

But I thought you were mandated!

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..

You have "delusions of grandeur"!

Solitaire said...

@ Humble,

Now is that your answer to me or are you responding to Keshi!?

Ankur said...

I am Sneha... truly, totally, completely!!!
outta my mind... dont know really whats going on!!!

Solitaire said...

@ D sinner,

Heard a monkey like man singing a song with that term in it in a hindi movie. Same thing?

Solitaire said...

@ Am In Trance,

Sorry buddy! The love bug has bitten you. You need to go to the "love guru".

Solitaire said...

@ Visesh,

Hmmmmm....
Poor comprehension. Spelling errors too.

Definitely some sort of a verbal disorder.

Solitaire said...

@ Sriram,

Oh no! You are a dangerous guy! I refer you to the mental hospital.

Soham Shah said...

I m not sure about my disorder but I know what you suffering from ..

It's your huge passion for BRA..U surely suffer from BRA-My-Weakness syndrome !!

LOL!!

Hiren said...

is the disorder not serious?? or its not a serious disorder?? or its one of those serious disorder that is still not serious ?? btw are you serious that the disorder is not serious?? (.. seems like i seriously need some order-ed sleep ...)

hope that you wont change your diagnosis & verdict abt my disorder now :)

Solitaire said...

@ Soham,

That is called PROJECTION. Good luck buddy!

Soham Shah said...

all doctors are projectionist then??.. They diagnose others' disease !!

Solitaire said...

@ Soham,

You have the definition wrong.

I am a psychologist.

Not a projectionist.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/projectionist

Solitaire said...

@ Hiren,

Uh oh! I seriously have to do some rethinking now.

Keshi said...

ok Sol apart from

-Depression (I do get bored VERY easily, sick n tired of predicatbility of life etc etc)
-MPD
-OCD
-Hysteria (to the max!)


I also hv the following:


-Anxiety
-Panic disorder
-Paranoia - a FEAR of being in an accident (I seriously get this vision all the time, i dunno why!)
-PTSD (finding my dad lying dead next to me one morning, haunts me to date)
-Mild Insomnia
-Mild ADHD (isnt it obvious by now?)



Help me Shrink!


Keshi.

rahul said...

disorders:
1.obsessive compulsive sleeping dis-order
2.obsessive compulsive abuser(in shudd hindi)
3.non-vege trying to be a vege but finding it difficult disorder
4.feeling quite at home where there's disorder disorder :P!!!

Ekta said...

oops!
Sigh...and the madness continues...

g-man said...

myself - bipolar disorder :)

my mum - lazy ass syndrome

my friend bob - ocd when it comes to using various forms of the f-word

Keshi said...

Sol where r ya?


Sol where r ya?


Sol where r ya?


Sol where r ya?



Didnt I tell u I do suffer from ADHD? :)


Keshi.

Solitaire said...

@ Chakoli,

Tamam gavah aur sabut ke pesh kiye jaane par, hum is nateeje pe pahuche hai ke aap PAGAL ho!!

Solitaire said...

@ Aayushi,

You need to see a hinglish psychologist!

Solitaire said...

@ Keshi,

MPD!? Is that in vogue? Everyone wants to have or thinks they have MPD!? I guess depression has lost its charm. Sigh!

Solitaire said...

@ Rakesh,

Damn! I need an assistant!

Solitaire said...

@ Joie,

I saw your disorder. It looks pretty!

Solitaire said...

@ Keshi,

Uh oh!! We need to drug you big time!

I am right here! Oh no! Are you developing a dependency on the shrink?

Solitaire said...

@ Rahul,

WOW! You need to be in the Guiness Book. You have some great disorders!

Solitaire said...

@ Ekta,

Yeah! Its a mad mad world. Are you part of this world too?

Solitaire said...

@ G-man,

You had mentioned on your blog that you have bipolar. Did you finally go to a shrink and what is that process like for you?

HAHAH! Your mom's disorder..:-o

AmitL said...

Who?Sol,of course...with all the constant tests of our laugha-bilities,via these extremely questions..the disorder? ROFLing each time I visit this blog.:)Cheers.*begins ROFLing again.*

Aa̲yushi said...

*Sob sob*

I need to be mandated NOW.

Insomnia.
Dementia.
Depression.
Hysteria.
Anxiety
Hinglish-nia
:(

Main to pagal ho gayi hoon :(

Keshi said...

I think Im getting heavily drugged by the pill named 'SOL'. But Im liking it, so no worries :)


bt I also think Im Bipolar..make it Octapolar!

Keshi.

joiedevivre said...

ohh u find dat pretty
:)
but a real tough day for me

Keshi said...

Ahemmm Aayushi, wuts Hinglish-nia? Cos I wanna know if I hv it. LOL!

Apart from the many Mental illnesses I have already!


Keshi.

joiedevivre said...

hav blogrolled u!

humbl devil said...

it was to you...just that kesh put it up in words before me..hehe

Hemanth Potluri said...

Disorder --->STML (short term memory loss) ....


Treatment : to forget wat disorder i have in no time...lol

Solitaire said...

Thanks Joie!

Solitaire said...

@ Hemanth,

Abhi se STML? You have a long way to go buddy!

Solitaire said...

@ Humble,

Are you sure that you and Keshi are not identical twins?!!!!!!!!
Or maybe she does have MPD and you are one of her personalities or vice versa!Damn! This is getting complicated.

Solitaire said...

@ Joie,

As long as it is not an everyday thing, you are fine! You sure you got no other disorders?

Solitaire said...

@ Keshi,

Only 8 poles? Aah..easy! Will give you a spell to chant 8 times a day. You will be cured in 8 days and in the 8th hour of the 8th day you will meet your true love!

Solitaire said...

@ Aayushi,

I mandate you!!

BTW, since you suffer from dementia, I bet you don't remember any of your worries, do you?

Solitaire said...

@ AmitL,

Uh oh! I am afraid you are suffering from a manic episode.

*worried look*

Solitaire said...

@ Keshi,

Here is a serious one. No jokes.

I know what PTSD feels like since I suffered from it for a long time. I have many times considered getting help for it but I have never had the right insurance. Maybe you should consider talking to someone too. Maybe that will also alleviate you of your paranoia and anxiety!

Also, why do you get bored? That is not a sign of depression. Maybe something else. Maybe maturity or maybe even ADHD!

brocasarea said...

stress!!!!!!!!!!

Rakesh said...

tumhara bada bada dealing sunkar assistant pagal ho jaye ga....Kyo dealingbaz?..:D

g-man said...

not my mom's disorder...mom's perception of me as having a disorder :)

o bipolar is cool during the upbeat periods. sux during the others!

Stupidosaur said...

I would not visit a shrink.

One, I have no problems in my 'subconcious', which the shrink will dig out after long deep 'couch sessions'. I am fully aware of all my 'psychological problems' and their causes and their 'possible solutions' and the barriers to the possible solutions.

Two, if its just sharing my problems thats going to set them right or at least lighten their burden, I would rather talk to some friend rather than pay some shrink for that.

And who knows, just cos of the money, shrink may simply invent 'psychological problems' for me where there are none actually (Yes please. I distrust this whole of humanity. I am a disillusioned cynic. And that is not a psychological problem. Probably beleiving that everything is ta-dee-dum-dum-goody-goody is one)


The purpose of a shrink is to make this statement invalid
"I have a psychological problem"
Suppose talking and counselling and such does not seem to work. So the shrink will suggest drugging me. In that case, instead of doing away with the 'psychological problem', by drugging my brain, the shrink will get rid of 'I' part of the above statement that was to be made invalid.

I presume, counselling will involve just some trite advises of the kind we come across in self-help books, 'psychological-empowerment' books, 'think- positive' books, 'getting over traumas' books, and other such books by the 'motivational gurus', psychologists, and such.Such advises fall under either
1) Plain common sense, for which I dont need a shrink
2) Too artificial, 'logical', 'statistical' unnatural and unhuman which just make me want to puke, for which I'll just say thanks for nothing counsellor.

And whats a 'problem' anyways? Life goes on.

anyways one shrink told me I a neurotic.
I looked up DK Illustrated Oxford Dictionary I have. Seems according to the definition the upside is that a neurotic "has not lost touch with reality".
Yay me!

Neeku said...

I would like to mandate counseling for someone else...

my ex roommie...for

superiority complex...

I am no joking ... she always thought of herself to be 'Better' than others !!!

and them used to come and complain about everybody from her department... ex BF... fam... she had this...

"I am so Right & Close to God" type of attitude...

What would you call that ?

Cinder-Single said...

Prolly myself and my parents!

PTSD!

Yeah I am a freakin basket case! lol

Ne

Ria said...

It has to b my mom!ofcourse for tolerating me.....i suffer from obsessive cleanliness disorder...so much so tht my mom dreads wht will happen to the poor guy who will marry me! :P

Ghost Particle said...

hemm i figured. so now there is no point marrying a pshyc... ill jst become devdas...and sing out of tune.

AmitL said...

"worried look" hahahahaah....goes ROFLling again.:)

Someday,I'll come to u for counselling.Beware.Keep the casting couch,err,I mean,examination table,ready...hehehe...see,with ur questions and Keshi's answers,my mind also goes for a toss every now and then;)

Solitaire said...

@ Ghost,

Why do you want to insult yourself by being Devdas? Did you forget who played the role of Devdas most recently in Bollywood?

Solitaire said...

@ Amit,

OY!! I am neither Freud nor a gynaec.
A chair will be ready! All you have to do is sit and blabber. Please come when you are out of your manic phase!

Solitaire said...

@ ria,

WOW! Really?I admire people who are that way cos I am at the opposite end of the spectrum. You don't need treatment. The ones who don't clean do!

Solitaire said...

@ Cinder,

PTSD from what? I think I have PTSD from examinations!

Solitaire said...

@ Neeku,

Its called Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

You probably would be mandated into treatment by yourself for living with such a person. I sympathize with you. I know of one such person and he is our favorite topic for gossip.

Solitaire said...

@ Stupid,

We all are neurotics in some way or the other. So yay us!

***I have no problems in my 'subconcious', which the shrink will dig out after long deep 'couch sessions'***

Only a freudian psychologist would do that sorta thing and not everyone is a freudian.

****Two, if its just sharing my problems thats going to set them right or at least lighten their burden, I would rather talk to some friend rather than pay some shrink for that****

This too is a freudian concept of catharsis that not all psychologists rely on.

****Suppose talking and counselling and such does not seem to work. So the shrink will suggest drugging me***
I hope you know that psychologists do not have prescription privileges and that no one can "drug" you without your consent.

****I presume, counselling will involve just some trite advises of the kind we come across in self-help books****
A presumption is like an assumption and here, you are clearly making an ass of you and me.

You just insulted my profession and that is not welcome.

Solitaire said...

@ Gman,

I bet its not so cool for the others! My roommate is bipolar and it drives me nuts!

Solitaire said...

@ Rakesh,

toh accha hai na? Ek aur patient mil jayega!

Solitaire said...

@ Broca,

Med students! Understandeable!

How about some chocolate therapy?

Nirmal said...

went 4 a blood test...waiting 4 the result..

wait wait wait..

Solitaire said...

@ Nirmal,

Did your shrink tell you to get a blood test?

g-man said...

i tend to want to be alone when i'm depressed or moody though. so i try not to bother anyone

Solitaire said...

@ G-man,

What about the manic phases? My roommate starts pounding on the wall, eating like crazy, and staying up all the night!

g-man said...

i just get really hyperactive (it feels like my hormones have shot way clear of the roof), walk and run around, jabber like crazy with the people around me, thump on the bench or the desk, jump around, et al. oh my, i see where you're getting at this. maybe i should try to tone it down

Solitaire said...

@ G-man,

Oh my! Can you tone it down? I think its beyond your control, isnt it? Just stay safe ok?

g-man said...

i dunno, i kinda do it unconsciously. maybe if i try, i'll be able to :D never looked at that part from someone else's point of view. i'm surprised nobody has gotten me chucked into the loony bin as yet :|

Ghost Particle said...

oh! srk! hemmm...sad. :)

Stupidosaur said...

***Only a freudian psychologist would do that sorta thing and not everyone is a freudian.***
***This too is a freudian concept of catharsis that not all psychologists rely on.***
***I hope you know that psychologists do not have prescription privileges***

If everything I 'AssUMe'D (and also observed when I went to the one who labelled me a normal person who is neurotic) shrinks do is either done by only by the chellas of Sigmund, or banned legally (prescribing), what do they actually do? Maybe the concept is different in US than here in India. Maybe the boundaries are ambiguous here, sab chalta hai.

So please tell me what do shrinks in general, and maybe you in particular do for a living?

***and that no one can "drug" you without your consent.***

Yes its precisely because of this that I remain drug-free. And maybe I got labelled neurotic because of my strong insistence on not being drugged ;)

***You just insulted my profession and that is not welcome.***

Sorry it was all just an honest opinion of an ingnoramus based to some extent on one single "session's" experience, after which I never went back

And if you felt insulted by the word 'trite', it was for the kind of advises given in the kind of books I mentioned. And their authors are much more larger than yours or mine life entities. (Of course some day you too might become a big writer eh? with self help books as well as the unambiguous version of the Bangladeshi 'love story').

In fact I would definitely like to write a post about the ridiculous and fake advises and points in some of these books and how they would take away the very essence of a real genuine human existence if implimented. But you see I really feel sick wasting my time going over those books again, just to factually find out the points I had found to be so when first reading them.

-------------------------
Please do not feel insulted and please do tell me what is it that a shrink actually does i none of what I understand it to be.

Maybe if I like and you agree, we can start trying on me that 'lot of free counselling you do' that you mentioned to someone ;)

rayshma said...

lol! no, no... sol! u won't realize it actually. u have to really really know me to see the issue! :D
i hadn't realized the issue till i got married and it was pointed out to me! :D

Aneesh said...

its not that serious :) sol,
but I like a lot to debate about such topics. its interesting to hear what others think!!!

Raghu Iyer said...

Who mandated you and what disorder do you have?

"are you a psychologist?
can you be a mind reader?"

"arre bhai! main yahaan kyun aayaa?"

Pri said...

i think we should join hands...u can counsel and i can treat...

would be a lethal online combination---a psychologist and a psychiatrist together can get rid of all the online madness (the harmful type i mean...or else we'd have to get rid of ourselves first..heehee)

think about it! :D

ohh and u can now direct all ur patients to me...

Satish Bolla said...

the bloggerville team(the geeks of google) mandated me for spending more time in ur blogs than mine... :(

ceedy said...

Interesting....

Nobody has mandated but did read your comment to Aneesh and had not heard of Existential Depression...

maybe I am suffering from that sometimes...

is it based on circumstances?
does it go with time or is therapy the only way...

and glad to learn you have overcome your PTSD....

Keshi said...

haha yes it seems like Devil and I r twins...literally too. ;-)


Sol having MPD isnt a fashion...it's an inherent quality in ALL humans. dun u think? LOL!



**PTSD

I dun think help would help...


Keshi.

Pri said...

ohh as for ur answer..i think im suffering from BIPOLAR DISORDER :p

Solitaire said...

@ Stupid,

Will be back in a few days with a response. A bit tied up..

Solitaire said...

@ Pri,

A bipolar psychiatrist is already a lethal combo. I will refer you to a friend of mine.....

Solitaire said...

@ Keshi,

In a funny way, maybe yes.
Technically, no.
Politically, that term does not exist anymore.

Solitaire said...

@ Ceedy,

That usually occurs in adolescence or middle to late adulthood. Have you regressed or grown too old?

Solitaire said...

@ Satish,

Oh! :)
Good for me!

Solitaire said...

@ Raghu,

Oh no!! Not that question again!

Solitaire said...

@ Aneesh,

Good to know! It should not even be that way! :)

Solitaire said...

@ Rayshma,

That's cause you have it!
Har pagal yehi kehta hai ke main pagal nahi hoon!
Ab kya hoga mera?

Keshi said...

haha Sol love it!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

**A bipolar psychiatrist is already a lethal combo

LOL Pri and Sol!

Keshi.

ceedy said...

No to both your choices...

Knew it self diagnoses is harmful....

thanks!

brocasarea said...

for free?...then its good!:P

Solitaire said...

@ Broca,

Yup!

Solitaire said...

@ Ceedy,

Always is!!

Solitaire said...

@ Stupid,

**If everything I 'AssUMe'D (and also observed when I went to the one who labelled me a normal person who is neurotic) shrinks do is either done by only by the chellas of Sigmund, or banned legally (prescribing), what do they actually do?

I really do not know what psychologists in India do. There are several theories of personality and several theories of psychotherapy, of which Freud is considered outdated (rarely used) and the most popular is Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.

***So please tell me what do shrinks in general, and maybe you in particular do for a living?

There are several things that "shrinks" do such as group therapy, individual therapy, assessments, etc. I work with college students in the university counseling center for a living.

8**(Of course some day you too might become a big writer eh? with self help books as well as the unambiguous version of the Bangladeshi 'love story').

I wish not to write self-help books. I would rather reach out to people face to face in my profession than through books which they may not even have money to buy!! And yes, one day, the bangladeshi story in detail!


Baaki baad mein...during our private counseling sessions.

Pri said...

@ solitaire
the bipolar episodes often cancel each other resulting in an 'euthymic' mood...
i think u forgot to read the 'borderline' there...so i can treat it myself...thankyou!
heehee unlike psychologists, we can prescribe ourselves with drugs if needed and dont have to rely only on counselling u know...

Pri said...

oops i just noticed my 2nd comment never showed up where in i had specified 'BORDERLINE' ...did blogger eat it up or was it intentional? :-/