May 30, 2008

Software

What did the software engineer say to a beautiful girl that he just met and wants to woo?

115 comments:

Neeku said...

Now this I do want to know !

Lets see what Geeks are capable of !

(Wait a min... that makes me one of them too... but then Wait again ! I have no interest in wooing a girl... so no worries... me now all excited to see all Geeky replies :D)

P said...

He said "You have lint on the back of your sweater"..and I was still wooed!! I just realized that I'm actually the strange one :p

Rakesh said...

if someday i will become software engineer then i will think..by the way what girl should expect...:D

Iceman said...

haati ka anda laa...
or is it
aati kya khandala...

g-man said...

your system blows away my minimum requirements. run date.exe to setup

Keshi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Keshi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Satanic Angel said...

I dunno anythin of this software shit..jus oracle linux oh he cud say
mar JAVA mit JAVA mar JAVA. Ishq mein tere naam mera mit JAVA :p

Satanic Angel said...

LOL keshi :p

Oh btw, this be me - elusive

TROJAN SPIRIT said...

Would you come for a date with me?

After all, we, software engineers, are also human beings only..we r no aliens..

तुषार वर्मा said...

WOO

maverick said...

the dating process could be taken as a Waterfall model along with prototyping features...

first step : Feasibility Study
second step: Requirement analysis to make the date successful.
third step: Analysis of various factors such as beauty n brains..etc
fourth step: Implementation....
fifth step: Training and Maintenance for the next date...

@keshi..lol abt the second comment

Nirmal's Blog said...

sol this is to impress you...

sweetheart should i program an anti-VIRUS for the Virus( hives ) in your body....

lol..

i know u will be impressed lol..

Ashish said...

Hey sweetie, i see you dont have any references, so before these zaalim duniyawale garbage collect you, can i point my reference towards you??

Jai ho JVM maiyaa ki!!

Nirmal's Blog said...

ok that was for SOL...now for a beautiful gal...

lol..

i just wanted to say whenever i am with u my SYSTEM BOOTS UP....when u say u will have to leave in another 15 mins my system becums STAND BY ...and when u leaves it SHUT DOWNS....

i guess its time to connect our life with a LAN...would love to take you to my MOTHER board so that we can UPDATE or realtionship....
dont leave or else my SYSTEM will CRASH..

lol...

tat was from an mechanical Engg..can u believe it..lol

Nirmal's Blog said...

@keshi....

run program...

lol..

Aneesh said...

Hey, I just want to install my software on your harddisk. So will you please allow me to insert my CD to your DVD drive?

humbl devil said...

<()>woohoo<(/)>

d SINNER!!! said...

let me find an engg first... :P

then ill wait for him to woo me...n then ill let ya know...:P

Soham Shah said...

Let me share one incident :

A software engineer spent a month painstakingly reprogramming his girlfriend’s favorite game and waited for her to reach a certain level. When his girlfriend got to the score, she was greeted with the marriage proposal and the jewels were arranged to form a ring.

Tht is so cute..

This is how Nerds like us propose !! ;-)

ceedy said...

Do you feel like downloading me as a plug in to enhance your current system

Pavi!!!! said...

@keshi : most men don't say letsmakebabies...its the women who say that ! :)))
But tht was a good one!ur an hardcore programmer huh ;-)

Pavi!!!! said...

Damn this is embarassing n hilarious..but wot the hell...Big deal!

So it was the early days between V n me. After this overnite party at about 5 am, when everone was just sittin arnd..in an attempt to make conversation wit me,
V asks me : "So, which operating system(O.S) do u have at home?" (How geeky is that????!!!!)
Me : P4 (w/o batting an eyelid)(n yes im an IT professional)!!!!
V: ohhh okay! cool.

n then later that day he calls me n asks me to "pls check ur O.S"...I'm like "told u, P4.Wats wit the obsession with my O.S? Can't u think of sumthing better to make a conversation?"
n then he bursts out in laughter!!
He says thats the moment he fell in love with me! n the rest is history! Sigh!

Stupidosaur said...

"I have lost ALT CTRL over my DILete. Will you accept my Pyar-e-Laila processing? My core, your core, Dual Core, together we will do more!"

@Keshi,

I wonder how the software engineer will 'say' all those brackets, periods and semicolons to the girl?


Plus I see a lot of logical bugs in the lower level design of the code:


Your pseudocode is...

If marry, All is good.
If dont marry,
If act like a biyatch, slap.

You have't handled the most important condition of not marrying and not acting like a bitch. I thought the software guy would be most interested in that condition first!


Further there are higher level design flaws

If its about marriage, how can we repeataboveprocess() unconditionally be for each beauiful girl?

Plus, it seems you have not understood the requirements. Software engineer is trying to woo her, not scare her away. Where do threats of slapping fit anywhere in that?

So I guess your program fails at all steps of the Software Development Life Cycle (SDLC)

1) Requirement Understanding-fail
2) High level Design -fail
3) Low level Design - fail

Neeku said...

@Keshi: LOL.... that was a good one ;)

Nitin said...

Mera pyaar shareware, 21 days ka free evaluation period hein.saath mein trojan icecream and coffee ad (ware) free hein.Accha lage tu license le lena system registry ko secure rakhoonga, ( remove kiya tu 'regedit' disable kardoonga)

Sam said...

Thats me.

Software junkie or techie.

Lets analyse the requirements of the system called love, design the components of it and then code the methods like holdinHands(), eatDinnerTogether(), wooMyHeart(), proposeMarriage() and then test the system in a black / white / sand box and declare the faesibility of the aggregation of my class and your class...

Makes sense ?

P said...

@ Pavi: I can so relate to your story. J and I talked like that too. I actually met him online. The first time I gave him my number was when I needed emergency advice on computers :D Later he told me that he wanted to ask for it since long time but was too shy to ask. :p

Solitaire said...

@ Pavi and P

Awwww...can software engineers also be romantic and mushy and all that stuff that we girls dream about? I want one too!

Oh wait..I thought I wanted a doctor...

Never mind!

g-man said...

@ sam: holy crap! (->literally :P)

@ sol: have i mentioned that i have been placed in a software company? :|

P said...

@Solitaire: Yeah they are romantic, you just have to decode the way they express that :D
And to woo them, keep talking about gadgets. J says he knew I was the right girl for him when I told him that I spent $100 for a calculator at a time when I was still converting dollars to rupees and buying only Walmart cloths :)

Doctors hmm nice..hope you are not eating apples :)

Am In Trance said...

Pavi--->
Who told you P4 is an Operating System ??

:|

Operating systems are:
Microsoft Windows, Mac OS X, AmigaOS, Linux and Solaris....

P4 is a 7th generation Processor Designed By INTEL.. Lady....!!!
:)

KP! said...

Communication is key to everything...software ppl...no isues there...v can speak any lang...c,c++,sql,pl/sql....etc

I prefer joey`s style(from friends)

"How you doin"?

@keshi....
HAHAHA.....
u forgot Error handling
where is TRY and CATCH ??.....lol
good one keshi......

Pavi!!!! said...

@am in trance.. I know!!!!
-precisely why this incident is embarassing n hilarious!
-Precisely why V asked me that Q more than once
-precisely why he broke out in laughter
-precisely how i woo-ed him (according to V!!!)

in my defense it was 5 am in the morning n i was nervous while talking to the guy i had a crush on!

now go ahead n have a laugh at my xpense :))))

Pavi!!!! said...

@sol : they can be...at times!

i wanted to marry a choc factory owner or fashin designer or atlst a singer...but had to settle for a geek! :))

Ghost Particle said...

@Keshi LOL! lets make babies...we refresh. rotfl!

@dsinner... now thats cool answer. :)

@Sol my answer:

software dude: ZOMG people actually wear pink?!!
girl: (slaps)
software dude: (cries)
girl: (pities him and falls in love)
sd+girl: and they lived happily ever after...

Macadamia The Nut said...

ROTFL!!!!! @g-man!!

Hiren said...

depends ... if that beautiful gal is from IT as well (which btw is truly a rare breed ...)

"will you care to pre-process, compile, assemble, link and load the code of my life into the RAM of the CPU of your life ??? "

if shes not from the same field ... it would be just stupid to come up with s/w lingo which she wouldnt apprehend at all :) so .. us time pe bollywood jindaabaaad :)

Vandita said...

excellent question, this im gonna ask my frnds :P :D

Satish Bolla said...

dear, my SYSTEM just got booted for the first time and that too only after seeing you. why don't you take the MAINTENANCE contract for it for a couple of months? we'll work around a better way for the future if u r ok with the handling of the SYSTEM.

(i'm working as a consultant. n our ways of approach will b this way only)

Solitaire said...

@ Neeku,

Software engineers are not necessarily GEEKS!!! I know of a software engineer who watches movies all day..even at work!!
Are you also a software engineer?

Solitaire said...

@ P,

I don't get it!

Solitaire said...

@ Rakesh,

Oh come on! You should answer based on what you already know or presume about software engineers!

Solitaire said...

@ Iceman,

Hahahah!!

Did you see

Solitaire said...

@ iceman,

Oops tht got published....

Did you see what I have for you on Warm Fuzzies?

Solitaire said...

@ G-man,

Hahah! Totally geeky!!

Solitaire said...

@ Keshi,

EEEKSS! Too much that is!

EWwwww!! I am trying to get used to your R-rated comments. Bear with me.

Solitaire said...

@ Satanic,

Hahahahaha!! Love it!! Especially because it is soooo easy to understand!!

Solitaire said...

@ Trojan,

who said that you were aliens...just a bit geeky, says neeku!

Solitaire said...

@ Tushar,

then she is going to say "SHOO!"

Solitaire said...

@ Maverick,

Is that MBA stuff or CIS stuff?

Whatever...I am perplexed!

Solitaire said...

@ Nirmal,

Very impressed but no thank you!
I got my own anti virus from a very handsome doc here..

Solitaire said...

@ Ashish,

"point my reference towards you"......

:-o

Solitaire said...

@ Nirmal,

WOWWWWWWWW! did not expect that awesome comment from you!! Accha hai!! Now I am very impressed.

Solitaire said...

@ Aneesh,

Any double meanings involved?

Solitaire said...

@ Humble,

:(

Woh kya hai?

Booo hoooo!

Solitaire said...

@ D Sinner,

Bhool jao! All the software engineers are busy brainstorming their ideas on Short and Sweet...in front of the computer..dunno when they will implement it in real life!

Solitaire said...

@ Soham,

Waaah! So the proposal depended on that score! What if she never reached it? And did she finally get a real diamond ring or did she have to make do with the nerdy programming?

Solitaire said...

@ Ceedy,

What will be enhanced thanks to the plugin?

Solitaire said...

@ Pavi,

Maybe Keshi meant to say that to the guy she wants to woo. ;)

Solitaire said...

@ Pavi,

Why are you sighing? such a cute story!! Maybe he meant something else when he kept asking you about the OS. Hehe!

Solitaire said...

@ Stupidosaur,

LOL LOL LOL!!

Even though I did not understand most of your analysis of Keshi's program just like I did not understand her program, I am very very very impressed!! I love analytical minds...cos that's how shrinks' minds also work. :)

AND I love your creative comment too...so simple and easy to understand with a great use of words!

Solitaire said...

@ Nitin,

All is well BUT "Trojan" word se mere kaan khade ho jaate hai!!

Solitaire said...

@ Sam,

Not to me! But if you said this to me to woo me, I will be impressed that you have so much knowledge about something I don't. Besides all those eat dinner and hold hands words will catch my attention!

Solitaire said...

@ G-Man,

Hahahaha! :p

Really?

How cute!

Solitaire said...

@ P,

I might never be able to decode them. I might end up giving them a disorder diagnosis of some sorts. ;)

I have been away from apples for a long time now. :)

Solitaire said...

@ am in trance,

Where is your answer Mister?

Or are you thinking of using those words (all those OS names) to woo your girl?

Solitaire said...

@ KP,

I only hope and pray that the girl knows all those languages too otherwise you both will have to resort to sign language!

Solitaire said...

@ Ghost,

Hahahahahah! I like your story!! If I were the girl, I might end up doing just that..slap and then feel sorry instantly!

Solitaire said...

@ Hiren,


"will you care to pre-process, compile, assemble, link and load the code of my life into the RAM of the CPU of your life ??? "

How will you know if that girl is from IT or not? Will you ask her first and then use your dialogue?

Preprocess reminds me of processed cheese.
Compile reminds me of MP3 music compilations
Assemble reminds me of IKEA, the furniture store.
Link reminds me of a URL

Uffo!

BTW, check warm fuzzies out..you have been tagged! :)

Solitaire said...

@ Vandita,

Uffo!! what is your answer?

Solitaire said...

@ Satish,

Hahah! Short term project is it?

ceedy said...

What will be enhanced thanks to the plugin?

Am not a geek but will give it a try -

Plug in is basically an add-on or an extension to the host...in this case her...so it wont supersede her but act as a support....

and it is used to extend capabilities of the host (one can oly take walks and drink coffee and watch movies alone for some time....
support features yet unforeseen (again certain events in life need a shoulder and support )
seperate source code from an application (take some strees aaway from and maybe help her)

wow!!!! is this geeky enuf answer?

Solitaire said...

@ Ceedy,

Baapp re!

That is like an "ideal man" answer. But seems like a give-give relationship!

ceedy said...

are give - give kaise hua...arent geeks shy - only if he really likes this other person....will he open his mouth...

and if she agrees then give - take ho gaya ke nahi....

Solitaire said...

@ Ceedy,

But he is the one who is the plugin. Uske toh mazey hai!

ceedy said...

haha

true!...damn the geek is all confused...heads to the library to seek a book...how to approach a girl....:(

but also at the same time....if she did agree that means she understood that means she is shy and that means....after the acceptance....both will want to not let the other go...so they will become plugins..or hosts....

Keshi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Keshi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Solitaire said...

@ Ceedy,

Oh no! Please don't tell me that the geek will now go to Barnes and Nobles to buy a book on relationships and try and use techniques from there on a beautiful girl!

I think what you are saying is making sense..

Both plugins. Now they need a third party to enhance. Hence a baccha! Voila!

ceedy said...

well i have read your input here and it seems that your comments proclaim that you are a relationship guru then why the rant and rave on your blog

why is it so hard then for you to find a special someone and what is wrong in being perfect?

by you saying that perfectionism is fake makes me think otherwise - where you want to be in a relationship but not 100% - isnt that fake too!!!!

and about digesting the comment...well responses are also part of the FUN right, then why are you so peeved, if you have a preconceived idea so do others

Keshi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ceedy said...

@keshi

the above comment is for keshi

Solitaire said...

@ Keshi,

As you said, all this is in pure FUN and jest. Do not take comments on Short and Sweet to heart. I did not understand many technical comments, not just yours. And that is fine. I asked for it and I knew this would happen.

Though I cannot say anything concretely on anyone's behalf, I would like to believe that people do come to Short and Sweet to have a bit of fun and away from heavy stuff in other blogs and in real life.

So please relax and don't think so much!

Now smile!

Iceman said...

tereko dekh ke apun ka program ishq.0 ka memory overflow ho gaya... apun ka dil ka poniter always points to u... and program flow always follows u...

Duniya no jo jo break point lagaya sab ko skip kar daala... tere peeche execution pagal hai...

darling mere program ko crash hone mat dena... tere smiles aut blushed ko parameters jaise pass kardo... diagnostics ke liye...

Aur ek puppy toh de do... warna saala core dump maar de ga crash ho ke....

Solitaire said...

@ Ceedy,

Yeh kya ho raha hai!
(Tiku Talsania style)!

ceedy said...

@solitaire

well what do you expect a poor geek to do...he collect all his wits to even first see this girl face to face and you are questioning his every move....

well he will have to go to any means to make sure he is heard right....

and baccha will only come if she agress...and looking at your reaction probably the geek will get scared...:(

Solitaire said...

@ Iceman,

Ishq.0: Purana version lagta hai!

Baap re baap! Kya hi fundu language hai!

Puppy chahiye? Bada sa kutta laakar deti hoon!

Iceman said...

mereko kutte ka puppy nahin... ladki ki puppy chaahiye.. LOL..

mere baalon ka hairstyle ekdum dhinchak....

puppy nahi mila toh fever ka bukhaar ho jaayega... :-D

Solitaire said...

@ Keshi,

Why are you deleting your comments?

Solitaire said...

@ Ceedy,

Oh!! Did I scare you away? But you are not a computer geek and I am not a beautiful girl you just met!

ceedy said...

@solitaire

nah I dont get scared easily...and yes I am not a geek and I havent met you true!

@keshi

y did you delete your comments - is it me.....if I am wrong/judgemental why dont you have a healthy debate...y shy away....

we all can be wrong or right....

Keshi said...

Ceedy..

this post was supposed to be FUN. So plz dun drag my blog and my single status into this. that was very hurtful.

I respect each and everyone's individuality and neither am I gonna qn why they r single or why they cant find a partner etc. thaut wud be pretty nasty.

And nah I didnt delete my comments cos of u. I just didnt think my comments here were 'appropriate' anymore.


tnxx!

Keshi.

Solitaire said...

@ Ceedy,

PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

This post is about software engineers and their "geeky" ways of wooing girls.
Why are you all not trying to have fun?
:(
Short and Sweet is going Short and Sour!
BE NICE!

ceedy said...

@keshi

sorry if I hurt you....did not mean to get personal...you are absolutly right....

guess reading the comments I just responded on a spur of a moment....

let just have FUN....but you should still not have deleted your comments...there were so many who liked them!!!

ceedy said...

@solitaire

did not want to be a sour input....hope this all sorts out...we all have our opinions and right to free speech....and i guess i crossed a limit...

will keep it in mind next time and be sensitive...

Ghost Particle said...

I'm hungry.

humbl devil said...

just trying to think like a real nerdy s/w guy...hehe

Nirmal's Blog said...

**fires a round of bullets 4 peace**

Neeku said...

@ Solitaire: I agree not all are geeks... but at times Geeky is kinda cool... me not software engineer... I would Say WAS

Have a Computer science degree from India, but then now have Business admininstration and Masters in Health admin... learning bit of Stats for reaseraches and clinical trials... so kinda going half way geeky ... or should I say half way crazy ;)

This was real good laugh Short and sweet question :) Really enjoyed reading the comments :)

Solitaire said...

@ Neeku,


Thank you for the appreciation. :)
That put a smile on my face for sure after a few frowns I have had. :)

Tu toh ekdum highly educated chhokri chhe!

Solitaire said...

@ Ghost,

Want something nice and sweet?

Solitaire said...

@ Nirmal,

Thank you dear! Such a dear!

maverick said...

@solitaire...its something u ld learn in engineering and practice after ur MBA :D

Solitaire said...

@ Maverick,

Mere toh palle kuch nahi pada.

Ladki woo ho gayi? Kaam khatam!

Solitaire said...

@ Humble,

It didn't work. You just drove the girl to tears!

Yahoo!

P said...

Which one you didn't get? The calculator part?
Basically girls prefer to spend more money on clothes and accessories than gadgets. I indulge in gadgets more. That was attractive to a geeky software engineer.

Solitaire said...

@ P,

No not that!

The lint on the sweater part.

Am I duh? :(

Neeku said...

@ Solitaire: I am jill of all trades and master of none ;) :(

aane tame pan to Doctor cho... :)

Ashu said...

jeeeeeeeez, i cant think of a cheesy line :(

Am In Trance said...

OS Names to woo a gal ???
Too Risky..

I'll Say MSWindows:
She'll throw me outta' her Windows..!!
I'll Say Macintosh:
She'll Kick my ass n' will do full SANTOSH..!!

Nah.. I guess it'll be....
"I Want to meet God Now.. Jiski Programming Itni Sundar Woh Kitna Sundar Hoga..!!"

Aila..!!

Ankur said...

how abt this???
---------------------------
Class Woo
{

protected function Liking(Object theGirl)
{

try
{
System.out.println("How about discussing Obama and Hilary over a cup of Coffee???");
if(response="yes")
{
System.out.println("Woo!!!");
}
else
{
System.out.println("How about just coffee, you and me!!!");
}
}
catch (Exception e)
{
if(e.type="a boy")
{
System.out.println("Go For the Kil!!!");
}
else
{
System.out.println("try again!!!");
}
}
}
}

-----------------------------
*rolling eyes*

hehehe
Cheers!!

Vartika said...

"How would you like your eggs tomorrow morning: scrambled or fertilized!?"
Geee!!! the most off-sounding pick-up-line i ever heard..

P said...

Oh that. It meant that software engineers (at least the one I have to deal with) doesn't even know that they are not supposed to say any negative thing about a girl's look or outfit, even if they notice it..at least not on first meeting.

Deepali said...

2 very corny ones that come to mind lol apologies to any engineers reading them (most that I know aren't geeky) -

1) 'There is more to a guy than Ctrl Alt Del - I could show you'

Though technically I don't think it maps to a software engineer necessarily. Maybe more a hardware engineer I guess

2) 'How about some Java'